Colin, the hero of the story has absolutely nothing going for him. He's a thick middle aged fat bald bloke with a drink and class C drug problem. He is also a virgin with no sexual conquest whatsoever. To top all that he is broke and hails from Birmingham.
His life rotates in ever sad decreasing circles. The pub where he works part time is also his social life. His only escape from all this drudgery is his passion for his local football team Aston Villa and self abuse.
For some reason, for which he cannot fathom (in fact nobody can), peaceful loving and it has to be stated humorous alien beings from a far away galaxy have contacted and chosen him and only him to represent and speak for Earth.
The aliens have brought a message to the world prophesising our planet will be dead in twenty five years.
It's solely down to our reluctant hero to convince the world of it's impending doom and follow him to a bright new future on another world.
Not an easy task, when the deadliest assassin of all time is out to kill him!
Sad Bastard Pillowcase Company
